In lieu of an abstract, below is the essay's first paragraph.
"Have you ever dug somebody so far beyond your reach, so superior to you, that you didn't know what to say or do when you were around them? Then, when they do pay attention to you, you just feel like passing out, but instead, you gnaw the skin on the end of your fingers off and look like an idiot. And you would just like to ask them if they would like to go to dinner sometime, but you know that you never will, because you're scared of getting laughed at . . . or turned down . . . or kicked in the nuts (that would hurt). I have."
Landers, David J.
"Dinners That Will Never, Ever, Ever Be,"
The Angle: Vol. 2002
, Article 17.
Available at: http://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/angle/vol2002/iss2/17