In lieu of an abstract, below is the essay's first paragraph.
"Once upon a time, in the Magic kingdom of Lot, in the province of Thanxa, lived a humble squire known as Gungewort. Gungewort was exceedingly ugly and was noted for having saved his tiny province from annihilation. During the period of the twenty years war, the Earl of White sought to rule the tiny province and defied any of the inhabitants to challenge his skill with the broadsword. The particular broad which the Earl had used to fashion his sword stood nine feet tall in better days, before she was shafted, and there was simply noone around able to match her prowess. Day after day the inhabitants were forced to retreat until only the abode of ugly Gungewort remained. The Earl called forth from his ranks and demanded the gungewort come forth from his house, but the little man refused to budge. From behind the door he called "You'll 'ave to 'Earl me out" Gingewort had a cockney accent. The Earl was enraged, and called for his most devestating broadsword. This particular broad was a twelve foot behemoth whom the Earl had surprised just as she was passing secrets to the enemy. He had the hapless maiden turned into a sword, and none could match the fury of this magnificent weapon. The Earl called it Ex-collaborater."
"Gungewort And The Mushroom,"
The Angle: Vol. 1972
, Article 22.
Available at: http://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/angle/vol1972/iss1/22